Anthology: Case

With unpredictable demands requiring immediate responses, knowledge workers easily slip into squeaky wheel gets the grease” methods for organizing their days around phone calls, coffee breaks, meeting, and lunches. As a result, their time and work often drift into smoke with little sense of completion or accomplishment.
1-15: “There is no real excellence in all this world which can be separated from right living.” – David Starr Jordan.
1-18 In stark contrast, almost all the literature in the first 150 years or so focused on what could be called the character ethic as the foundation of success-things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty and the Golden Rule. Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography is representative of that literature. It is, basically, the story of one man’s effort to integrate certain principles and habits deep within his nature.
1-19 But shortly after World War I the basic view of success shifted from the Character Ethic to what we might call the Personality Ethic. Success became more a function of personality of public image, of attitude and behaviors, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of human interaction. This Personality Ethic essentially took two paths: one was human and public relations techniques, and the other was positive mental attitude (PMA).
1-21 The Psalmist expressed our conviction well: “Search your own heart with all diligence for out of it flow the issues of life.”
1-22 Did you ever consider how ridiculous it would be to try to cram on a farm- to forget to plant in the spring, play all summer and then cram in the fall to bring in the harvest ? The farm is a natural system. The price must be paid and the process followed. You always reap what you sow; there is not shortcut. This principle is also true, ultimately, in human behavior, in human relationships. They, too, are natural systems based on the law of the harvest. In the short run, in an artificial social system such as school, you may be able to get by if you learn how to manipulate the man-made rules, to “play the game.” In most one-shot or short-lived human interactions, you can use the Personality Ethic to get by and to make favorable impressions through charm and skill and pretending to be interested in other people’s hobbies. You can pick up quick, easy techniques that may work in short-term situations. But secondary traits alone have no permanent worth in long-term relationships. Eventually, if there isn’t deep integrity and fundamental character strength, the challenges of life will cause true motives to surface and human relationship failure will replace short-term success.
1-22 It is character that communicates most eloquently. As Emerson once put it, “What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say”.
1-24 Each of us has many, many maps in our head which can be divided into two main categories: maps of the way things are, or realities, and maps of the way things should be, or values. We interpret everything we experience through these mental maps. We seldom question their accuracy; we’re usually even unaware that we have them. We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be.
1-28 I frequently use this perception demonstration in working with people and organizations because it yields so many deep insights into both personal and interpersonal effectiveness. It shows, first of all, how powerfully conditioning affects our perceptions, our paradigms. If ten seconds can have that kind of impact on the way we see things, what about the conditioning of a lifetime? The influences in our lives – family, school, church, work environment friends, associates, and current social paradigms such as the Personality Ethic-all have made their silent unconscious impact on us and help shape our frame of reference, our paradigms , our maps.
1-28 Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are-or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms. When other people disagree with us, we immediately think something is wrong with them. But as the demonstration shows, sincere, clearheaded people see things differently, each looking through the unique lens of experience.
1-29 The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumption, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger and a far more objective view.
1-29 Perhaps the most important insight to be gained from the perception demonstration is in the area of paradigm shifting, what we might call the “Aha!” experience when someone finally “sees” the composite picture in another way….The term paradigm shift was introduced by Thomas Kuhn in his highly influential landmark book, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. Kuhn shows how almost every significant breakthrough in the field of scientific endeavor is first a break with tradition, with old ways of thinking, with old paradigms (Ptolemy/Copernicus; Newtonian physics; germ theory).
1-30 The United States today is the fruit of a paradigm shift. The traditional concept of government of centuries had been a monarchy, the divine right of kings. Then a different paradigm was developed-government of the people, by the people, and for the people. And a constitutional democracy was born, unleashing tremendous human energy and ingenuity, and creating a standard of living, of freedom and liberty, of influence and hope unequaled in the history of the world.
1-31 In the words of Thoreau, “For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one striking at the root.” We can only achieve quantum improvements in our lives as we quit hacking at the leaves of attitude and behavior and get to work on the root, the paradigms from which our attitudes and behaviors flow.
1-32 Quoted from Frank Koch in Proceedings, the magazine of the Naval Institute: Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities. Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, “Light bearing on the starboard bow.” “Is it steady or moving astern?” The captain called out. Lookout replied, “Steady, captain,” which meant we were on a dangerous
collision course with that ship.
The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.” Back came a signal, “Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.” The captain said, “Send, I’m a captain, change course 20 degrees.” “I’m a seaman second class,” came the reply. “You had better change course 20 degrees.” By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send, I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.” Back came the flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse.” We changed course.
1-33 Principles are like lighthouses. They are natural laws that cannot be broken. As Cecil B. DeMille observed of the principles contained in his monumental movie, The Ten Commandments, “It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law.” While individuals may look at their own lives and interactions in terms of paradigms or maps emerging out of their experience and conditioning, these maps are not the territory. They are a “subjective reality,” only an attempt to describe
the territory.
The “objective reality” or the territory itself, is composed of “lighthouse” principles that govern human growth and happiness-natural laws that are woven into the fabric of every civilized society throughout history and comprise the roots of every family and institution that has endured and prospered. The degree to which our mental maps accurately describe the territory does not alter its existence.
1-34 These principles are a part of most every major enduring religion, as well as enduring social philosophies and ethical systems. They are self-evident and can easily be validated by any individual. Its almost as if these principles or natural laws are part of the human condition, part of the human consciousness, part of the human conscience. They seem to exist in all human beings, regardless of social conditioning and loyalty to them, even though they might be submerged or numbed by such conditions or disloyalty:…fairness, integrity and honesty, human dignity, service, quality or excellence, potential, growth, patience, nurturance and encouragement.
1-35 The glitter of the Personality Ethic, the massive appeal, is that there is some quick and easy way to achieve quality of life-personal effectiveness and rich deep relationships with other people – without going through the natural process of work and growth that makes it possible.
1-36 Quoting form Erich Fromm: Today we come across an individual who behaves like an automaton, who does not know or understand himself, and the only person that he knows is the person that he is supposed to be, whose meaningless chatter has replaced communicative speech, whose synthetic smile has replaced genuine laughter, and whose sense of dull despair has taken the place of genuine pain. Two statements may be said concerning this individual. One is that he suffers from defects of spontaneity and individuality which may seem to be incurable. At the same time it may be said of him he does not differ essentially from the millions of the rest of us who walk upon the earth.
1-36 What if you were to lead your friends to believe you could play the piano at concert hall level while your actual present skill was that of a beginner? The answers are obvious. It is simply impossible to violate, ignore, or shortcut this development process. It is contrary to nature, and attempting to seek such a shortcut only results in disappointment and frustration.
1-37 To relate effectively with a wife, a husband, children, friends, or working associates, we must learn to listen. And this requires emotional strength. Listening involves patience, openness, and the desire to understand-highly developed qualities of character. It’s so much easier to operate from a low emotional level and to give high-level advice.
1-40 My experience has been that there are times to teach and times not to teach. When relationships are strained and the air charged with emotion, an attempt to teach is often perceived as a form of judgment and rejection. But to take the child alone, quietly, when the relationship is good and to discuss the teaching or the value seems to have much greater impact. It may have been that emotional maturity to do that was beyond my level of patience and internal control at the time.
1-41 I’ve taken course after course on effective management training. I expect a lot out of my employees and I work hard to be friendly toward them and to treat them right. But I don’t feel any loyalty from them. I think if I were home sick for a day, they’d spend most of their time gabbing at the water fountain. Why can’t I train them to be independent and responsible -or find employees who can be? The Personality Ethic tells me I could take some kind of dramatic action – shake things up, make heads roll- that would make my employees shape up and appreciate what they have. Or that I could find some motivational training program that would get them committed. Or even that I could hire new people that would do a better job. But is it possible that under that apparently disloyal behavior, these employees question whether I really act in their best interest? Do they feel like I’m treating them as mechanical objects? Is there some truth to that? Deep inside, is that really the way I see them? Is there a chance the way I look at the people who work for me is part of the problem?
1-41 There’s so much to do. And there’s never enough time. I feel pressured and hassled all day, every day, seven days a week. I’ve attended time management seminars and I’ve tried half a dozen different planning systems. They’ve helped some, but I still don’t feel I’m living the happy, productive, peaceful life I want to live. The Personality Ethic tells me there must be something out there-some new planner or seminar that will help me handle all these pressures in a more efficient way. But is there a chance that efficiency is not the answer? Is getting more things done in less time going to make a difference-or will it just increase the pace at which I react to the people and circumstances that seem to control my life? Could there be something I need to see in a deeper more fundamental way- some paradigm within myself that affects the way I see my time, my life, and my own nature?
1-42 “Inside -out” means to start first with self: even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self-with your paradigms, your character, and your motives. It says if you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it. If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent, loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary greatness of character.
1-44 Quoting T. S. Eliot: “We must not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time.””