Aquinas makes seven points about the permanence of matrimony, some of which we have encountered. The first three are premoral and deal with the value of paternal investment. First, because fathers care for their children as a way of extending their own lives, they should give this care indefinitely – as long as it is needed. And marriage should be indissoluble because it provides the context for this lifelong investment.74 Second, because of the long years of human childhood dependency, children need parental, including paternal, help indefinitely. Third, if couples exchange partners, paternal certainty will become obscured, and fathers will care less for their progeny.75 The next arguments are distinctly moral. In the fourth Aquinas asserts that to dissolve a marriage is an affront to equity and fairness toward the wife. Aquinas assumes that men tend to dispose of older women and take as mates younger, more fertile females. He writes, If a man after taking a wife in her youth, while she is yet fair and fruitful, can put her away when she has aged, he does her an injury, contrary to natural equity.”76 Aquinas repudiated patriarchal divorce, a widespread ancient practice that Jesus had rejected as well. Fifth, in addition to procreation, marriage is for friendship, and this friendship will be all the more stable if it is thought to be indissoluble.77 Sixth (and most out of tune with the modern mind), Aquinas thought women were necessarily financially dependent on men and “naturally subject” to the man’s superior wisdom. Therefore neither women nor men should be allowed to initiate divorce since this would deprive women of the resources and guidance they need.78 The contemporary slide of single mothers into poverty, in spite of their increased economic independence, suggests that his economic analysis had more merit than his assessment of women’s need for male wisdom.79 Aquinas’s seventh argument for the indissolubility of marriage makes a direct appeal to revelation and is the cornerstone of his understanding of marriage as a sacrament. It points to a paradigmatic narrative action that Christian husbands and fathers are charged to imitate in relating to wives and children. Furthermore, it shows that Aquinas saw narratives about divine action as supplementing both natural human inclination and the positive law in regulating marriage. Both human law and divine revelation should be based on, yet remedy the defects of, natural inclination. Not only do divine laws “express the instinct of nature, but they also supply the defect of natural instinct.”80 Divine law adds to human law “a kind of supernatural reason taken from the representation of the indissoluble union of Chist and the Church, which is union of one with one.”81 This indissoluble union refers to Christ’s sacrificial love for the church described in Ephesians 5:21-33, a sacrifice that Christian men are to model in their relations to wife and children. Aquinas calls this a “sacrament (Eph.
5:32),”82 which meant to him both indissolubility and supernatural grace. We focus, however, on another dimension of Aquinas’s understanding of sacramentum. This dimension is more dramatic than the somewhat mechanical infusion of grace to overcome concupiscence and immoral behavior; it invites imitation or participation in the archetypal pattern of divine action. Aquinas is addressing this dimension when he writes, “Although Matrimony is not conformed to Christ’s Passion as regards to pain, it is as regards to charity, whereby He suffered for the church who was to be united to Him as His spouse.”83 This means that the husband is to imitate Christ both in the husband’s unbreakable commitment to the family but also in his capacity for sacrificial love or charity (caritas in the Latin and agape in the Greek). The purpose of this sacrificial love is to endure in the relationship and restore it to the equity of friendship. Friendship with one’s spouse, friendship with the neighbor, and finally friendship with God – these are the purposes of Christ’s passion, according to Aquinas. The sacrifice is not an end in itself, it is a means for restoring friendship with spouse and parental commitment to children. When Aquinas invokes the narrative analogy between Christ’s redemptive passion for the church and the love of fathers for family, he has several verses from Ephesians in mind: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, even as Christ does for the church, because we are members of his body. (Eph.
5:25-30)