Youth Ministry Initiative

All Citations

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1996

From Mary Pipher, Ph.D., The Shelter of Each Other - Rebuilding Our Families (1996) at page 127:

Therapists are asking how we can respect our long-held ideals of personal freedom and also acknowledge our culture’s desperate need for family loyalty and community values. In his book We’ve Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy – and the World’s Getting Worse, James Hillman noted that one of the reasons our culture is falling apart is that intelligent people are going into therapy instead of becoming social activists. They’re paying therapists for time to complain about work instead of organizing workers. Hillman wrote that therapy further erodes the planet by emphasizing inner, not outer, problems. He said that there is no evidence that people do more community work after they’ve had therapy, and in fact he suspects they do less.

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1996

From Mary Pipher, Ph.D., The Shelter of Each Other - Rebuilding Our Families (1996) at page 125:

Albert Bandura’s notions of self-efficacy and Aaron Beck’s theories of depression both suggest that people feel better when they are helping others.

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1996

From Mary Pipher, Ph.D., The Shelter of Each Other - Rebuilding Our Families (1996) at pages 121-122:

I think of the California condor, whose babies must peck their way out of tough, thick shells. Many chicks cannot do it and die in the process. One time some scientists tried to help the birds by opening the shells slightly. The birds easily pecked out of the shell, but they died anyway. They didn’t develop the muscles they needed to survive. Those muscles came from the tough job of pecking out of the shell. Children are like that. Struggle toughens them for the future. The trick is to decide which stresses strengthen children and which weaken them. They important question is what does this child need to grow and develop? Some need more help, some need less.

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1996

From Mary Pipher, Ph.D., The Shelter of Each Other - Rebuilding Our Families (1996) at pages 119-120:

A woman carrying her dead child approached the Buddha and begged him to bring her child back to life. Buddha said, Go to each house in the village and bring me a mustard seed from the one who has not known suffering. Then I will bring your child back to life.” The woman carried her baby from house to house. She knocked on every door and asked the family if they had been spared suffering. Of course the woman couldn’t find a house like the one Buddha described. Instead at each home she heard a sad story. She couldn’t bring Buddha a mustard seed, but she did learn that life is suffering. This helped her accept her own fate as part of the human condition.

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1996

From Mary Pipher, Ph.D., The Shelter of Each Other - Rebuilding Our Families (1996) at page 113:

Einstein said that our theories determine what we observe.

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1996

From Mary Pipher, Ph.D., The Shelter of Each Other - Rebuilding Our Families (1996) at page 110:

Carol Rogers said that people need unconditional positive regard” and wrote about the trauma to children who didn’t receive that kind of love. Adults, especially educated adults, felt they had been traumatized by their conditional parents and were afraid that they would damage their children with conditional love. They tried to be more accepting and tolerant than their parents had been. But real parents can’t give children unconditional love. First, they are human and don’t always feel loving. Second, parents are responsible for socialization, which involves a certain amount of squelching.

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1996

From Mary Pipher, Ph.D., The Shelter of Each Other - Rebuilding Our Families (1996) at page 99:

In a capitalistic system where people are units of consumption, families often interfere with sales quotas. Parents intervene between their children and the marketplace. Parents don’t want their children to drink alcohol, use tobacco or have sugar diets, even if the consumption of those products is good for the economy. Parents don’t necessarily want to buy designer jeans or expensive toys. They have different values and different goals for their children than corporate society does.

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1996

From Mary Pipher, Ph.D., The Shelter of Each Other - Rebuilding Our Families (1996) at page 94:

Philosopher Eileen Moody wrote that the American dream has been re-written in the language of advertisers.” Advertising is our national religion, with parables that teach “Buy this product and you will be saved.” Children recite jingles instead of poetry and they know brand names instead of the names of presidents. More students can identify Mr. Peanut and Joe Camel than can identify Abe Lincoln or Eleanor Roosevelt. They can identify twenty kinds of cold cereal but not the trees and birds in their neighborhoods.

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1996

From Mary Pipher, Ph.D., The Shelter of Each Other - Rebuilding Our Families (1996) at page 93:

The general philosophy of ads – create a feeling of longing about a deeply human need, then suggest a product that will satisfy that yearning – works very well. Wishes are induced with the skill of a night-club hypnosis, then elevated into needs. Your wish is your command. Ads elevate feelings over thinking and impulses over common sense. It’s hard for parental calls for prudence to compete. The science of marketing is much more precise and focused than the science of parenting. Ads manipulate us into being dissatisfied. As businessman B.E. Puckett said, It’s our job to make people unhappy with what they have.” We are encouraged to feel anxious or sorry for ourselves. Advertising teaches us to live on the level of the pleasure principle. This leads to impulse-control problems and to feels of entitlement. “I am the center of the universe and I want what I want now.” This thinking creates citizens who are vulnerable to quick fixes. It leads to citizens filled with self-pity, which is the flip side of entitlement.

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1996

From Mary Pipher, Ph.D., The Shelter of Each Other - Rebuilding Our Families (1996) at page 89:

Before the Seneca tribe made changes, the elders would ask, How will this affect the next seven generations?” No new tools or customs were introduced without a thoughtful conversation about the future. We are not even asking how our explosion in technology and media is affecting the current generations.

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